October 28, 2009
Well, I’ve never actually written a blog before so I really don’t know what the fuck I should do, other than curse a lot and try to act like I’m a reluctant hipster. Admittedly, I’m a little late to the blog train, but I’m always a little late for everything. That’s ok, I don’t really care.
So, today was a relatively normal day here in Korea. I’m an English teacher in Korea. I’m not Korean, which should be clear by my at least rudimentary ability to use English. I’ve been here for two years now and have gone through the typical trials of an ESL teacher. Someday, I’ll get more into that and dissect things a little bit more, but this is my first blog, so I’ll try to keep it relatively short.
When I say that today was normal, I mean it was normal for an ESL teacher living in Korea, with a Korean girl, a Korean boss, and Korean students. My kids were great today. It’s Tuesday, which means it’s one of two days a week that I only have one class. At a hagwon that means about three hours at work and then back home. Easy day. In fact, most days are easy at work, even the hard days.
My girlfriend works at the same hagwon as me. She has to work a lot more hours for a lot less money, because she’s Korean. She doesn’t like this. Because of this, even when I get out of work three hours before her I come back to work at 10:00pm just to walk her home. She likes this and it keeps her from hating me so it’s a small price to pay.
Tonight we started talking about marriage again. I want to marry her. I love her. But I fucking hate talking about marriage with her, because every time it ends up in the same retarded argument. She doesn’t want to rent an apartment, because it’s not the Korean retarded tradition, I just want to do what we can afford, because I’m realistic. I try to tell her that coming up with $50,000 in a years time is just not possible, I don’t even make that much in a year, how the fuck am I supposed to save more than I make in a year?? It just doesn’t register though. I get the typical answer, “But this is how it works in Korea.”
“Well”, I need to remind her every now and then “I’m not Korean.” That doesn’t matter. I’m in Korea so I have to live up to her parents unrealistic expectations of how much money a 34 year old man should have. Without the consideration that I did not spend my entire 20’s living with my mom and dad. I didn’t have mom and dad to pay rent, pay college tuition, phone bills, electric, food, etc…Doesn’t matter…this is the Korean way.
Eventually, she comes back down to reality, but we still have this argument periodically. I just want to get married so we can stop having this fucking argument. I also got a surprise quiz from her tonight. “What documents will we need to get married? What embassy do we go to? When we have a baby, what country will he be a citizen of? If we move to America what will I have to do? Can I become a citizen? (This one was followed by “I don’t want to be a US citizen, but what would I have to do?) How much will it cost? How much will we spend on the wedding? How many fucking orders of sam-gyeop-sal should we prepare? Are you going to dye your hair before you meet my dad?” Fuck. I just wanted to be nice and walk her home from work. That’s all. Sometimes I really feel like I’m too nice and I need to lay down the law a little bit, but then again I’m just a pushover so any law I laid down would only last about two minutes so that’s pretty pointless.
It’s ok though. I got home after getting the test and looked up a bunch of shit and text messaged her information until she called me and told me she was sorry for being a bitch. I had some Hite, that’s my brand of Korean beer for now, and played some PS2, and now I believe I will get some sleep. But before I go to bed I’ll just mention that when I say Hite is my brand for now it’s because I have some plans in the works. I’ve had my fill of Korean piss macjew so this Christmas I believe that I will buy myself a homebrew kit and make my own shitty beer. If my only choices are Shite and Ass then I might as well just brew my own crappy tasting watered down swill. At least then I can legitimately say that drinking beer is my hobby.
If you want to marry her so badly, why not just propose, give her a ring, and force the issue? Then at least you have one foot in the pool, and your on the right track...then have a long engagement while you try to squirrel away a reasonable ($50,000 is unreasonable, btw) stash of cash. And then you will always be a bit ahead in any future arguments, as she has already agreed and compromise will then be inevitable!
ReplyDeleteOf course, my sage advice could all be for nothing if the Koreans don't believe in long engagements...or even the tradition of engagement. I really have no clue.
Also, after reading your post about your fellow teachers at school, why not name your blog something smartly condescending, just to highlight the fact that sometimes you get the least level of respect for being an american male, but then again, they seem to look to you for answers just the same. I'm currently on my 1st cup of morning coffee and cannot provide any suggestions as my brain is looking about like the pile of guts we extracted from last night's Halloween pumpkin.
Great blog thou...it's just like hearing your voice again.
PS. I had to post this Anonymous because I couldn't figure out how to post it otherwise. It kept asking for my URL. Again..mush brain.
-Jen
well we've already agreed to marry. we've talked about maybe a year from now in the fall. her brother is getting married in the spring and we can't get married until after him. can't steal the thunder of the korean man-child and all that bullshit. the $50k is for what's called key money. when you rent a place here there's a few different options and if you give a large amount of key money the rent is much lower. i'd get the money back if we moved to a new place, but it's basically a large security deposit so the landlord can collect interest off your money.
ReplyDeleteas far as the respect for being an american male etc. we don't get respect here really any more than a pet would. we're not viewed as real teachers. the korean staff only likes me because i don't cause them any grief.
i like the new title of the blog, "mildly amusing" because i see myself as being mildly amusing. not really funny, but not totally boring either.